Midnight Magic
As the original Pop Idol WILL YOUNG returns to his pop roots on the forthcoming new album Light It Up, we sit down to discuss embracing the realities of being a fortysomething gay man, facing down the pressures of perfectionism and the need for Pride… in the name of love!
Interview Adam Mattera Photography Christian Trippe
Green suit VIGGO, Green cardigan PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND, Brogues GRENSON , Rings PYRRHA and RAT BETTY, Necklace WILL’S OWN
It’s so good to have you back in the world of pop. I’m curious as to why now… your relationship with pop has always been a little – what’s the word – ambivalent I suppose.
I know. I was just saying to a friend the other day that pop isn’t really the kind of thing I listen to at home. We were actually playing Anohni’s last record, which is amazing by the way. But I think something happened while I was off doing more serious stuff shall we say… the one-man play last year (Song From Far Away) which was quite dark in places and my mental health podcast (the brilliant Wellbeing Lab). Maybe in some way I was drawn to something brighter and joyous after that. And then when I heard the demo of Falling Deep I thought ‘this is it’. It’s such an undeniably great pop song. I'd never worked with any of the Scandinavian pop writers ever, deliberately. Never worked with any of the Brian Higgins, Guy Chambers types either. I always said no. I was more ‘I’m gonna work with Nitin Sawhney!’ But when I heard that track from the PhD guys I just thought I’d be really stupid to not to do this song. And it changed everything.
So that wasn’t the original intention for the album?
Not at all. I’d started on my own at home in my attic, during lockdown. I was writing a very noodly, kind of psychedelic folk album. The kind of stuff that I like listening to basically, slightly MGMT, slightly Empire Of The Sun. But the production on Falling Deep was so good I ended up doing a bunch of tracks with those guys. I think I just forgot how much fun it is to be in the same room together and work on a song. There's a different energy you get from that.
From what I’ve heard of the new album, not only are the tracks quite immediate and catchy, but lyrically they feel very emotionally honest and raw even. I’m thinking particularly of tracks like The Worst and the new single Midnight.
I’ve never written a song like that before. I did that with the Kish Mauve guys who did Jealousy – I love them. I just thought it'd be funny to write a song about someone who’s in their 40s and single and a bit tragic. Wandering around drunk at midnight, eating kebabs. We’ve all been there. Sometimes as you get older, you look in the mirror and think ’what happened to me?’ I saw some pictures of myself the other day, and I thought ‘who the fuck is that?’ I looked like an old man!
“I don't feel as vulnerable as I used to. Maybe all those years in therapy have finally come to fruition. Who knows? I mean, one would dare to dream – all that fucking money spent!”
I imagine there’s something quite freeing about embracing your age and insecurities, saying ‘this is who I am’ take it or leave it. And brave too, to expose yourself like that.
I don't think I was comfortable enough to do it before. I suppose I don't feel as vulnerable as I used to. Maybe all those years in therapy have finally come to fruition. Who knows? I mean, one would dare to dream – all that fucking money spent! (Laughs) I think something I’ve noticed is that there’s a lot of hiding, isn't there? Pretend you're more successful than you are, pretend you’re always happy, do whatever you can to look more youthful… Usually when I have to do a video I’m like ‘Oh my god! I need to go on a juice fast for a week!’ This time I thought ‘I don’t give a shit’… And it was so liberating having all the dancers the same age as me (for Falling Deep). It felt like reclaiming power. Not that anyone had taken it away. But it was just so odd that I'd never thought about it before.
I wonder if that’s because particularly in pop, rather than say rock or jazz, there’s a kind of default always to youth.
Exactly – it’s just so ingrained. Especially being from when I came out as a pop artist in the early 2000s. It was like being in a factory. I mean, you worked every fucking day. Roadshows every weekend. I don't think I had a day off for years. And I don’t think that work ethic ever leaves you. It’s like muscle memory – you just fall into certain patterns. But I’m so glad I broke that pattern and we actually went with older dancers. I can go with that for years. Till I’m in my 80s!
“I’m not someone who likes to lust after straight men. I've never really had that. It’s a bit sad if you’re still doing that in your 40s – you really should have worked it out by then!”
Going back to Midnight – I think there’s something specific as well about ageing and being gay. It’s so refreshing to hear that being addressed in a song with honesty and humour.
My manager thinks it's one of the saddest gay songs he's ever heard because it's so true. (Laughs) There's something interesting about being a gay man and getting older. You know – texting your exes and getting it wrong and all that. There’s a line in the song ‘Why does no one tell me that they're married?’ I love that line. I’m not someone who likes to lust after straight men. I've never really had that. It’s a bit sad if you’re still doing that in your 40s – you really should have worked it out by then! There’s a lot of positive, celebratory queer stories out there, which is great, but I don't think we hear enough about gay men my age and older. There was that brilliant Andrew Scott film of course (All Of Us Strangers). What I liked about that was that it wasn’t afraid to show there can be sadness there too. Sometimes you can feel a bit othered and a bit outsider still. I think it’s good to be honest about that stuff rather than always trying to cover it up, always pretending everything’s perfect.
White frill collar shirt SUGAR Y SAL, Tank PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND, Pinstripe trousers MFPEN, Loafers RUSSELL & BROMLEY, Rings PYRRHA and RAT BETTY
I think social media certainly encourages that – putting forward that presentable mediated face to the world.
And it’s just not true, I just don’t buy it. I mean we can all live in the pretence and be like, ‘it's all fine – look at us – we’re having the best time ever’. Maybe it's about having the lack of shame to finally actually open up and be honest about how we really feel, what our insecurities are. I think there’s a real strength in that. I wonder if as gay men we should be doing more to truly connect with each other in that way.
“I would not want to be in my twenties again. I was batshit crazy! I wouldn't go back there if you paid me.”
That’s probably one of the advantages of getting older too, that you’ve worked through some of those insecurities or at least learned to not be so hard on yourself.
Oh my god, I would not want to be in my twenties again. I was batshit crazy! I wouldn't go back there if you paid me.
That’s very honest of you to say. That would have been at the height of your early fame, right? I imagine a lot of people would automatically assume because of all the success that would’ve been the happiest time in your life?
No way. I always felt I was never doing enough. Nothing was ever enough. I wasn't really enjoying any of it. Now it's different. I can sit at peace with myself in a way I couldn’t then. I mean obviously there were moments, incredible career moments – I mean singing with James Brown, how amazing is that? But I wouldn’t want to go back there, no. All that drama in relationships! Going out, taking e, having an argument – It was all a bit messy. You just know yourself better as you get older.
These themes you’re dealing with on the new album – ageing, facing insecurities and so on – it makes me wonder if you think there’s such a thing as an age cap to being a pop star? Do you at some point have to pivot and become some different thing?
If you'd asked me that a few years ago, I might have said yes, but I don't feel there is now. Maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe, I'm just existing in my own little world – I mean, I watch the Brits now and think I don’t know any of the people! I'm just being honest. That’s not any reflection on them, it just shows where I'm at in my life now. It's just not my world. But then we announced the tour recently and it sold out in four days. I haven't had that for over ten years! So I don't think there is a cap actually, no. I think as long you can have a laugh with it and enjoy it and there’s an audience there for you, then why not?
Green suit VIGGO, Green cardigan PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND, Brogues GRENSON , Rings PYRRHA and RAT BETTY, Necklace WILL’S OWN
As this is our Pride issue, I wanted to ask you a couple of questions about Pride and this seems like an appropriate moment. What do think of London Pride?
To be honest, I don't feel we've quite nailed it in London with Pride. I'm not sure why. I mean we’ve got two days of Mighty Hoopla which is brilliant. And we used to have Lovebox, which was amazing, just the nicest atmosphere. But with Pride, there’s something not quite right. I mean you've got like Girls Aloud in Brighton this year, which is awesome, but where are the massive acts in London?
I agree. Especially when you think about other capitals around the world. It could be so much more.
Totally. They should make more of such an iconic backdrop as London. And I think it needs to be extended now – it should be about acceptance of difference and diversity and love. The march is essential of course, but there should be a massive concert that’s televised every year. Get all these big companies and brands that jump on board once a year to keep doing relevant stuff all year round. If I was doing a political campaign, that’s what I’d push for.
Do you remember the first Pride you went to?
Let me think. I went to Brighton Pride before it became massive – that was fun. Oh, and I went to Stockholm Pride once. But to be honest I don't really like large crowds of people. I get a bit claustrophobic.
Hmm… not sure this is totally the celebratory Pride angle I was hoping for (laughs). You must have performed at Pride though?
Yes I did! I performed at G.A.Y. – the old G.A.Y. – this was way back in 2004. I did it all live with the full band. It was the probably completely the wrong set for Pride. Sometimes I struggle a bit when I’m asked to do those things – they always want it a certain way – It must be a remix and it must all be dance stuff… I’m like ‘there are gay people that like ballads you know – what’s wrong with something acoustic?’ But it's not the right time is it? Maybe me rocking up with a ukulele might kill the vibe slightly. (Laughs) Oh hold on… I just remembered – I did Manchester Pride! That was really fun. I went down into the audience afterwards and got completely stuck and couldn't get back on stage. And I was wearing a see-through PVC suit.
Okay, this is more like it! I hope you were wearing underwear.
Yes I was, thank you very much! I did this whole quite dancey set actually – I was really up for it then. I’d just done that track with Groove Armada (History) and I did a cover of Smalltown Boy. I had this outfit where I just kept on removing layers which ended up with a sort of tunic dress – it was very inspired by Viktor&Rolf’s runway show with Tilda Swinton. Then I went off and came back in the see-through plastic suit. It was way ahead of its time if I say so myself. I enjoyed that. I like the smaller Prides. See, this goes back to my crowds thing. When I say smaller prides, I mean like five people.
You and your dog in your living room watching Priscilla Queen of the Desert?
Yes! Me and a rubber duck in my bath! Happy Pride!
Coat VIKTORIA ZUZIAK, Navy T-shirt ISTO
Will’s new single ‘Midnight’ is out now. Listen to it below and his new album "Light It Up" is out on 9 August via BMG.
Team credits
Interview Adam Mattera
Photography Christian Trippe
Styling Sian O’Donnell
Make-up Claudine Blythman
Videographer Flint
Photography Assistant Ezra Evans
Management Fascination Management
PR The Outside Organisation
Follow Will on Instagram to keep up with the latest news about his new album and the upcoming tour.
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